Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
Diet: insantiy, to select or limit the food one eats to improve one's physical condition or to lose weight: I've dieted all month and lost only two stickn' pounds!!
My body has been on vacation. I went on vacation to loose weight, to find "inner self", eat for life not for pleasure...I went on a vacation. Then I came back by simply visiting my good friend "Wendy." We had a grand ol' time. We caught up with eachother and talked about the good times. Times when we were carefree and induldged ourselfs with all lifes unhealthly pleasures. It was a short and sweet visit. I went back another day for me. I was having an affair and not telling anyone. Well, sunday came. I repented. I washed it all away by drinking water. Tons and tons of water. No bread though...just water. I even went to mama Jeanne's house and looked at all the great food that was in front of me and I ate very little and stuck with my water.
So to sum up my stuggles and my success with this Lard off...I am insane.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Life in the Dead Zone
Sorry to be remiss this week--it is canning season. Now, why can't standing around for several hours peeling peaches count as exercise? I am sore all over and my feet hurt...I should be able to count it, shouldn't I? If I were truly devout, I would jump on my exercise bike and "cycle till I drop." Instead I think I will just drop. It is 9:07. Surely that is bed time someplace in the world? Doesn't that count as midnight in NYC? Nella, you are the world traveler. 3 hours difference, que no?
Have spiffy days, and may all of your peaches taste as sweet and juicy as these!
PS any good recipes for cherry tomatoes?
Moi
Have spiffy days, and may all of your peaches taste as sweet and juicy as these!
PS any good recipes for cherry tomatoes?
Moi
Results
OK, Y'all,
Sorry, Kerry and Gary are off someplace fun like Bermuda. I am still having trouble posting. I don't have the jpeg option for this, so...Uh, in posting this, all lines and symetry bit hte big one. And I am too tired to care. When Kery returns, I am going to ask her to dis posses my computer. Oh, that is exorcize, isn;t it???
Losers pounds percent
Jeremy M M
Jennfer 1.2 3
MSG 2.5 3.1
Nella 5 3.3
Nelma 3 10
Julie 2 1.7
Marg M M
Tyler M M
Gary M M
Kerry M M
Jacob M M
Jeanne M M
Serena 3 14.6
Total 16.7 35.7
Losers Total Pounds Total%
Jeremy 6 10
Jenn 2.4 6
MSG 2.5 3.1
Nella 5 3.3
Nelma 3 10
Julie 2 1.7
Marg M 0
Tyler M 0
Gary M 0
Kerry 1 0.04
Jacob 2 0.06
Jeanne M 0
Serena 3 14.6
Total 26.9 48.8
Ptrs. Points Total
MSG 9 16
Nella M 0
Marg 14 21
Gary M 17
Kerry M 15
Serena 14 17
Total 37 86
Sooo, high points for this week are: Margaret, points, high weight loss,Nella and Serena, percentage. Is there a Larsen conspiracy??
Sorry, Kerry and Gary are off someplace fun like Bermuda. I am still having trouble posting. I don't have the jpeg option for this, so...Uh, in posting this, all lines and symetry bit hte big one. And I am too tired to care. When Kery returns, I am going to ask her to dis posses my computer. Oh, that is exorcize, isn;t it???
Losers pounds percent
Jeremy M M
Jennfer 1.2 3
MSG 2.5 3.1
Nella 5 3.3
Nelma 3 10
Julie 2 1.7
Marg M M
Tyler M M
Gary M M
Kerry M M
Jacob M M
Jeanne M M
Serena 3 14.6
Total 16.7 35.7
Losers Total Pounds Total%
Jeremy 6 10
Jenn 2.4 6
MSG 2.5 3.1
Nella 5 3.3
Nelma 3 10
Julie 2 1.7
Marg M 0
Tyler M 0
Gary M 0
Kerry 1 0.04
Jacob 2 0.06
Jeanne M 0
Serena 3 14.6
Total 26.9 48.8
Ptrs. Points Total
MSG 9 16
Nella M 0
Marg 14 21
Gary M 17
Kerry M 15
Serena 14 17
Total 37 86
Sooo, high points for this week are: Margaret, points, high weight loss,Nella and Serena, percentage. Is there a Larsen conspiracy??
Nelma Says...
Dr. Phil says that in order to lose weight, you need to go through your kitchen cupboards and throw out everything that doesn't taste like cardboard. Well, that is not exactly what he said, it was more like getting rid of all of the unhealthy foods. If you have teenagers who will die without them, have them hide them some place where you won't get them.
I have been playing it cool so far, letting Jeremy start to feel over confident. Watch out! I am starting now!
Congratulations everyone!!
I have been playing it cool so far, letting Jeremy start to feel over confident. Watch out! I am starting now!
Congratulations everyone!!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Time
80 Days. We still have time! So this weekend I will take time to organize my life for success. Just so you'll know, the Baby Ruth number has NOT diminished, so watch your tail feathers. At school I give out penny candy (Penny candy? That dates me, doesn't it?) for silly prizes at unexpected times. I ran out and asked Mom and Dad to pick me up a bag from Wal Mart. They brought me a 4 POUND bag of the good stuff, Whoppers, Heathbars...not the brand x stuff that I buy. I've decided that not even one crumbule shall I eat or else, like other temptations from the dark side, it will forever rule my destiny. (Deep, no? All of my deep thoughts come from Yoda.) Face it, one piece will not be enough, and with a 4 pound bag sitting there...Ya' know, I don't want it to go stale...By November 1st I should be able to bulk up with at least 67 pounds.
That's what it was, a plot by my mother! The unscrupulous woman has no mercy--she will do ANYTHING to win! I think I will leave a bowl of it by her bedside table.
That's what it was, a plot by my mother! The unscrupulous woman has no mercy--she will do ANYTHING to win! I think I will leave a bowl of it by her bedside table.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Results
This thing is giving me fits!! Here it is, not in cool graph form:
Jeremy lost 6 pounds, Jennifer and Kerry both lost 1 pound, Jacob lost 2 pounds. The rest of us maintained. The group lost 10 pounds all togehter.
Points--Gary had 17 points, Kerry had 15 points, Margaret and Mary both had 7 points, the rest of us (Nella, Nelma, Serena) are regrouping for this week. We earned 46 points in all.
Hang in there, us all--the best is yet to come. And now the questions we have all been pondering--Will jennifer start slipping Jeremy humongous portions on the sly? Will Jeremy leave Brownie batter in strategic places around the house? Will Kerry splurge for 5 days, diet for 2 and then drop 23 pounds in a week? Will Nella enter the Boston Marathon? Who was the strange person admitted in to the Betty Ford Foundation for his/her candybar addiction? And who is that masked man who leaves Donuts on the Doorstep? Tune in tomorrow for an exciting new episode of "As the Lard Burns".
Jeremy lost 6 pounds, Jennifer and Kerry both lost 1 pound, Jacob lost 2 pounds. The rest of us maintained. The group lost 10 pounds all togehter.
Points--Gary had 17 points, Kerry had 15 points, Margaret and Mary both had 7 points, the rest of us (Nella, Nelma, Serena) are regrouping for this week. We earned 46 points in all.
Hang in there, us all--the best is yet to come. And now the questions we have all been pondering--Will jennifer start slipping Jeremy humongous portions on the sly? Will Jeremy leave Brownie batter in strategic places around the house? Will Kerry splurge for 5 days, diet for 2 and then drop 23 pounds in a week? Will Nella enter the Boston Marathon? Who was the strange person admitted in to the Betty Ford Foundation for his/her candybar addiction? And who is that masked man who leaves Donuts on the Doorstep? Tune in tomorrow for an exciting new episode of "As the Lard Burns".
The Happiest Place on Earth
Mimi, wonderful poem! It is amazing that in your poem I can replace the noun "Baby Ruth" with just about anything that I hold dear to my heart. Besides, I can not love anything without carmel, chocolate, or nuts in it. " Everything I love is killing me.." nothing like a good country song to empathize with.
Well time to update. Since my brownie affair I have been doing very well. I have been faithful to my small portions, no late night ice cream runs, and not one ounce red meat. A big help with this diet is being broke. I can't afford to be stupid or waste money on quick fixes.
I am ready to start my research paper. I am interested to know what puts more stain on the human mind and body. To stop smoking, stop drinking, or go on a diet. I have only experienced one out of these three. The bad things is, I've had to take more drugs to help with more headaches since my diet knocks out my caffine shots. Once you've dedicated and succumbed to all their temptation how can you resist? It would be like going back to Disney Land for the second time and only taking a tour and not being able to jump off the train. Everyone around you is taking full advantage of the "The Happiest Place on Earth." but your butt is stuck on the train. My goal is to prepare myself for such torture. If I am unable to go back, at least I will have a "small butt" to sit on. ::sighs::
As for Jeremy, I get so peeved that in one week that man has already lost 5lbs!! One stickn' week folks!!! I paid all the diet companies in the world to loose that much weight in one week and all my husband has to do is go hunting over the weekend! He still drinks soda, still eats butter ( the good kind), and the only thing I can give him a little credit on is his portions sizes. Thanks to his wife who fills his plate!! No seconds for him, I don't make enough for seconds. If this was not a competition and their wasn't a prize at the end, I would be proud of my husband. But this is war!! I have a marriage and baby on the side but deep in my very empty hungry stomach I am fighting to beat my husband and his ego. Unfortunately he has a better weapon than me...a fast metabolism.
Does anyone recall this commercial? Need I say more.....
Well time to update. Since my brownie affair I have been doing very well. I have been faithful to my small portions, no late night ice cream runs, and not one ounce red meat. A big help with this diet is being broke. I can't afford to be stupid or waste money on quick fixes.
I am ready to start my research paper. I am interested to know what puts more stain on the human mind and body. To stop smoking, stop drinking, or go on a diet. I have only experienced one out of these three. The bad things is, I've had to take more drugs to help with more headaches since my diet knocks out my caffine shots. Once you've dedicated and succumbed to all their temptation how can you resist? It would be like going back to Disney Land for the second time and only taking a tour and not being able to jump off the train. Everyone around you is taking full advantage of the "The Happiest Place on Earth." but your butt is stuck on the train. My goal is to prepare myself for such torture. If I am unable to go back, at least I will have a "small butt" to sit on. ::sighs::
As for Jeremy, I get so peeved that in one week that man has already lost 5lbs!! One stickn' week folks!!! I paid all the diet companies in the world to loose that much weight in one week and all my husband has to do is go hunting over the weekend! He still drinks soda, still eats butter ( the good kind), and the only thing I can give him a little credit on is his portions sizes. Thanks to his wife who fills his plate!! No seconds for him, I don't make enough for seconds. If this was not a competition and their wasn't a prize at the end, I would be proud of my husband. But this is war!! I have a marriage and baby on the side but deep in my very empty hungry stomach I am fighting to beat my husband and his ego. Unfortunately he has a better weapon than me...a fast metabolism.
Does anyone recall this commercial? Need I say more.....
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Ode to a Baby Ruth
I new you guys could hardly wait for this. Here it is. Oh, yeah, if I had had all of your stats, I wouldn't have had time to type this thing in.....
Disclaimer--it is a rough draft and will probably stay a rough draft for ever.
Ode to a Baby Ruth
How do I love thee?
Let me count the weighs.
I love the smooth, rich chocolate
That melts lovingly on my tongue.
I adore the salty crunch of peanuts,
The satisfying cream of sweet nougat,
The decadent stretch of gooey caramel.
When I am sad or lonely, angry or bored,
You are there to comfort me,
Filling every void.
When I am faced with daunting daily decisions—
Do I act? Move? Take the simple steps that overwhelm me?
Steps that will empower me, initiate change?—
You are there, my active inaction, to distract me,
Derail me, save me from leaving my comfort zone.
You ARE my comfort zone.
You alone are always there for me,
You are static, unchanging, never wavering.
You feed my doubts, my guilt, my frustration,
And my desires for success with failure.
I am locked, immobile
In a chasm that we two have created.
You stay with me--my hips, my thighs, my flabby triceps—forever.
Do I love thee? How could I not?
Disclaimer--it is a rough draft and will probably stay a rough draft for ever.
Ode to a Baby Ruth
How do I love thee?
Let me count the weighs.
I love the smooth, rich chocolate
That melts lovingly on my tongue.
I adore the salty crunch of peanuts,
The satisfying cream of sweet nougat,
The decadent stretch of gooey caramel.
When I am sad or lonely, angry or bored,
You are there to comfort me,
Filling every void.
When I am faced with daunting daily decisions—
Do I act? Move? Take the simple steps that overwhelm me?
Steps that will empower me, initiate change?—
You are there, my active inaction, to distract me,
Derail me, save me from leaving my comfort zone.
You ARE my comfort zone.
You alone are always there for me,
You are static, unchanging, never wavering.
You feed my doubts, my guilt, my frustration,
And my desires for success with failure.
I am locked, immobile
In a chasm that we two have created.
You stay with me--my hips, my thighs, my flabby triceps—forever.
Do I love thee? How could I not?
Baby Ruths
Well, Y'all, here's my story for the week. Jenn, I feel your pain over the brownie bowl. The person who said that nothing ever tastes as good as thin feels never ate raw brownie dough. Kerry, I don't care what they say, grilled salmon and naked vegetables taste like...grilled salmon and naked vegetables. A Baby Ruth they ain't.
Baby Ruths, let's talk about them. I bought a couple of mixed boxes of candy bars for a school contest. I had several left over, notably ALL of the Baby Ruths. (No accounting for the uncouth tastes of youth.) Most candy bars I can take or leave. Believe it or not, I am the designated chocolate stash hoarder for some of my friends. No problem. They come back and their little stashes have often accumulated interest, tasty tidbits given me by loving students, especially around report card time. Most bars I can ignore. Snickers may cause a nanosecond of hesitation, but, trust me, your chocolate is safe with me.
Baby Ruths? Whole new story. If I skip breakfast, A BR is right there for me. (Hey, it's got peanuts, right? And MILK chocolate??) If I get frustrated with school, am feeling tired or hungry, a broken nail, a nasty paper cut? All of these are a definite NEED (not want or lust) for a BR. Not good. If I am going to be as sleek and svelte as the rest of you, the excess Ruths have got to go.
So, I put all of the excess candy bars in my class store. (Students earn points and buy stuff--usually treasures I have confiscated from the little darlings during the month.) Cheapskates didn't touch the stuff. All right. I am getting desperate. I have 16 bars left, 12whatevers, 4 BR's. Hey, we went to the fair, I'm left with 12 students. I reward them for their behavior, their fair performance, breathing air, whatever, and offer them all the cbar of their choice. You guessed it. I am down to 4 BR's. Everything else is GONE. Frustration strikes. And then there were 3.
Decisions, decisions. Do I eat them both in a frenzied orgy of chocolate and caramel? Am I wasteful and do I deep six them? Do I give them to the Principal and Vice Principal as tokens of my esteem and desire for a good evaluation? Do I post them in a prominent position on my desk as a token of my control and self discipline?
You can all see my dilemma. Friday was a wretched day--one entire day of in service based on technological equipment we don't have and computer sites that we can't access. It did give me time to write an Ode to Baby Ruths, however. Don't despair. I am saving that literary treasure for the next blog which I am submitting in 7 minutes. Lucky, aren't you?
Baby Ruths, let's talk about them. I bought a couple of mixed boxes of candy bars for a school contest. I had several left over, notably ALL of the Baby Ruths. (No accounting for the uncouth tastes of youth.) Most candy bars I can take or leave. Believe it or not, I am the designated chocolate stash hoarder for some of my friends. No problem. They come back and their little stashes have often accumulated interest, tasty tidbits given me by loving students, especially around report card time. Most bars I can ignore. Snickers may cause a nanosecond of hesitation, but, trust me, your chocolate is safe with me.
Baby Ruths? Whole new story. If I skip breakfast, A BR is right there for me. (Hey, it's got peanuts, right? And MILK chocolate??) If I get frustrated with school, am feeling tired or hungry, a broken nail, a nasty paper cut? All of these are a definite NEED (not want or lust) for a BR. Not good. If I am going to be as sleek and svelte as the rest of you, the excess Ruths have got to go.
So, I put all of the excess candy bars in my class store. (Students earn points and buy stuff--usually treasures I have confiscated from the little darlings during the month.) Cheapskates didn't touch the stuff. All right. I am getting desperate. I have 16 bars left, 12whatevers, 4 BR's. Hey, we went to the fair, I'm left with 12 students. I reward them for their behavior, their fair performance, breathing air, whatever, and offer them all the cbar of their choice. You guessed it. I am down to 4 BR's. Everything else is GONE. Frustration strikes. And then there were 3.
Decisions, decisions. Do I eat them both in a frenzied orgy of chocolate and caramel? Am I wasteful and do I deep six them? Do I give them to the Principal and Vice Principal as tokens of my esteem and desire for a good evaluation? Do I post them in a prominent position on my desk as a token of my control and self discipline?
You can all see my dilemma. Friday was a wretched day--one entire day of in service based on technological equipment we don't have and computer sites that we can't access. It did give me time to write an Ode to Baby Ruths, however. Don't despair. I am saving that literary treasure for the next blog which I am submitting in 7 minutes. Lucky, aren't you?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Lord, If thou will not bless me skinny...please bless my friends to be fat.
posted by Jennifer
I applauded you!! I have done the very opposite. I actually started my lard off the first of Sept ( I had in my mind that was the starting date.) So, when I received the update from Aunt Mary I thought this will be good! I already started my eating habits and a good excersize routine. It's in the bag. Unfortunately I became sick the saturday before we started. I went ahead anyway and weighed myself on Sunday and noticed I had already lost 4 lbs (which I am not counting since it was before the actual date) Well during my time being sick I thought, " What a good excuse to eat carbs and soda..again!"
Well today the sun was shinning and I am feeling much better! I am ready to get back on track. So I started off this morning with a good ol' protein shake…. 20 min later and I'm starving. Quick, I needed to think of a good distraction. I dashed to my computer to check online ( I love technology) to see if my books had finally arrived to my neighbor library. Yahoo! I grabbed the kid, packed all my crap, and out the door. No food tempting me out there....LIES!
It felt like the green mile! Fast food on my left and on my right the whole way to the library. I can already feel my body starting to fossilize! I go from feeling frumpy and aruging with my closet to anerexic and I can't go another second with out having something in my mouth. Dramatic, you say? Absolutley not. I'm trying to loose weight here folks. Rest assure though, I made it. Not one stink'n soild good tasting piece of food entered my mouth until the big hand and little hand were exactly were they should be on my kitchen clock. ( Is school out yet? Can I eat again? )
So you think this morning went bad for this little girl , my afternoon was worse! Tonight I signed up to bake brownies for our church activity. ( I know...I asked for it) Now your all asking yourself, "Did she or did she not give in this time. That's a lot of choclate and taste testing. I mean the bowl it self has it's own defeating smell and taste that defeats even the best of the controlled eaters. The spatula...the beaters...the dang bowl... the extra that sprays all over the counter. You can't just drop that in the sink and rain over that parade." So did I controll myself. YOU BET I DIDN'T!! I licked, I tasted, I smelled, I gave into it all! Temptation was at my finger tips and I licked all ten of them! Shame? No shame...my husband even had the pleasure of coming home and finding frosting on my forhead. Guilty? Not at all. I knew what I did. I guess the lesson learned is to not sign up for brownies until December. Better make that brownies, cookies, cakes, ice cream...nope this is one Sister that can not commit, cause I have no control.
Good luck to the rest!! I may be dead behind, but hopefully I lose my first!!
I applauded you!! I have done the very opposite. I actually started my lard off the first of Sept ( I had in my mind that was the starting date.) So, when I received the update from Aunt Mary I thought this will be good! I already started my eating habits and a good excersize routine. It's in the bag. Unfortunately I became sick the saturday before we started. I went ahead anyway and weighed myself on Sunday and noticed I had already lost 4 lbs (which I am not counting since it was before the actual date) Well during my time being sick I thought, " What a good excuse to eat carbs and soda..again!"
Well today the sun was shinning and I am feeling much better! I am ready to get back on track. So I started off this morning with a good ol' protein shake…. 20 min later and I'm starving. Quick, I needed to think of a good distraction. I dashed to my computer to check online ( I love technology) to see if my books had finally arrived to my neighbor library. Yahoo! I grabbed the kid, packed all my crap, and out the door. No food tempting me out there....LIES!
It felt like the green mile! Fast food on my left and on my right the whole way to the library. I can already feel my body starting to fossilize! I go from feeling frumpy and aruging with my closet to anerexic and I can't go another second with out having something in my mouth. Dramatic, you say? Absolutley not. I'm trying to loose weight here folks. Rest assure though, I made it. Not one stink'n soild good tasting piece of food entered my mouth until the big hand and little hand were exactly were they should be on my kitchen clock. ( Is school out yet? Can I eat again? )
So you think this morning went bad for this little girl , my afternoon was worse! Tonight I signed up to bake brownies for our church activity. ( I know...I asked for it) Now your all asking yourself, "Did she or did she not give in this time. That's a lot of choclate and taste testing. I mean the bowl it self has it's own defeating smell and taste that defeats even the best of the controlled eaters. The spatula...the beaters...the dang bowl... the extra that sprays all over the counter. You can't just drop that in the sink and rain over that parade." So did I controll myself. YOU BET I DIDN'T!! I licked, I tasted, I smelled, I gave into it all! Temptation was at my finger tips and I licked all ten of them! Shame? No shame...my husband even had the pleasure of coming home and finding frosting on my forhead. Guilty? Not at all. I knew what I did. I guess the lesson learned is to not sign up for brownies until December. Better make that brownies, cookies, cakes, ice cream...nope this is one Sister that can not commit, cause I have no control.
Good luck to the rest!! I may be dead behind, but hopefully I lose my first!!
Commiseration, Please
posted by Kerry Blair
I threw myself into the Lard Off on Monday morning with total delight, dedication and optimism. I could really do it this time! I would do it! The first two days were a breeze. I exercised like Michael Phelps. (Except that I drank gallons of water rather than immersing myself in it.) I ate like Mary-Kate Olsen. I even picked up a few "good karma" points by begging/bullying Gary into joining us, and then a few more for setting up this blog.
Yesterday was a little harder. Who am I kidding? It was murder. I went to Chili's for lunch with a group who drank Coke and root beer and ordered fried chicken, creamy Alfredo, steak fajitas smothered with sour cream, and -- get this -- babyback ribs, loaded mashed potatoes and french fries. On the same plate. (I practically swooned.) I drank lemon-free water (who knows how many calories are packed into one of those lemon wedges?) and devoured a "Guilt-free Salmon Plate." I consisted of seared fish, uneasoned brocolli and carrots, and six or eight little black beans. 480 calories, total. I'm no restaurant critic, but let me warn you: when you finish this dish you're crunching down ice cubes and eyeing the napkin, wondering if paper is fat-free.
What I'm saying here, people, is that for the last three days I've eschewed temptation and consumed fewer calories than most people living in the ghettos of India.
So it was with a regretable lack of humility that I stepped on the scale this morning for the
first time since Sunday, expecting to be a pound svelter. At least. (Okay, so I thought I would have lost five pounds.) Words for my self-congratulatory (and surely inspirational) blog were running through my head. So . . . are you ready for the results? Contrary to all the laws of dieting (and decency) as I know them, I have gained three pounds! I figure that at this rate, by the end of the Lard Off this will be me mowing my lawn.
I want commiseration. Consolation. Cheesecake.
I'll settle for your stories. Inspire me. Make me feel worse. Just tell me I'm not alone.
I threw myself into the Lard Off on Monday morning with total delight, dedication and optimism. I could really do it this time! I would do it! The first two days were a breeze. I exercised like Michael Phelps. (Except that I drank gallons of water rather than immersing myself in it.) I ate like Mary-Kate Olsen. I even picked up a few "good karma" points by begging/bullying Gary into joining us, and then a few more for setting up this blog.
Yesterday was a little harder. Who am I kidding? It was murder. I went to Chili's for lunch with a group who drank Coke and root beer and ordered fried chicken, creamy Alfredo, steak fajitas smothered with sour cream, and -- get this -- babyback ribs, loaded mashed potatoes and french fries. On the same plate. (I practically swooned.) I drank lemon-free water (who knows how many calories are packed into one of those lemon wedges?) and devoured a "Guilt-free Salmon Plate." I consisted of seared fish, uneasoned brocolli and carrots, and six or eight little black beans. 480 calories, total. I'm no restaurant critic, but let me warn you: when you finish this dish you're crunching down ice cubes and eyeing the napkin, wondering if paper is fat-free.
What I'm saying here, people, is that for the last three days I've eschewed temptation and consumed fewer calories than most people living in the ghettos of India.
So it was with a regretable lack of humility that I stepped on the scale this morning for the
first time since Sunday, expecting to be a pound svelter. At least. (Okay, so I thought I would have lost five pounds.) Words for my self-congratulatory (and surely inspirational) blog were running through my head. So . . . are you ready for the results? Contrary to all the laws of dieting (and decency) as I know them, I have gained three pounds! I figure that at this rate, by the end of the Lard Off this will be me mowing my lawn.I want commiseration. Consolation. Cheesecake.
I'll settle for your stories. Inspire me. Make me feel worse. Just tell me I'm not alone.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
And Off We Go!
September 8
Well, here is our weekly update. And, at the risk of being overly redundant and repetitive, a recap. But first, on the light (er) side...a quote from Jeremy:
Let the games begin! But I will give everyone hope, Jennifer is starting out sick.
Uh, I guess that makes us happy...(Just kidding, Jenn)
The first contest is based on losing weight based on how much you have to lose. We figure a percentage of pounds lost to pounds needed to lose to reach your ideal. Many of us won't reach our ideal weight by December, naturally. That is irrelevant.
The second contest is based on making small changes in your life that will help the big changes to come. (Gee, somewhere I read that by the small and simple things, great things are accomplished.) You set three goals. You get a point per day per goal met, up to three points. I have set (for now) 3 goals in problem areas for me: 7.5 hours sleep, 2 liters H2O and 1 hour of exercise. Many of your goals are similar, and of course, we probably won't meet all three everyday.
You can enter either contest or both, it is up to you. Some were apologetic for not setting goals--unnecessary. This is up to you.
A new aspect has just entered in. Our corporate sponsor was dissatisfied with the percentage of weight lost aspect. We now have a third category that all weight loss people are entered into automatically. The person who loses the most weight gets $100.00 regardless of percentage. This is not taken out of the regular contest fees.
Last but not least, Kerry is setting up our web page/blog. I will post stats there. If anyone has encouraging or informative tidbits, they can post them also. So, has anyone been contacted by Cosmo or GQ yet? (Or is GQ for African American Men only??? I know so little about men's magazines.) I am sure it is just a matter of time.
MSG
Well, here is our weekly update. And, at the risk of being overly redundant and repetitive, a recap. But first, on the light (er) side...a quote from Jeremy:
Let the games begin! But I will give everyone hope, Jennifer is starting out sick.
Uh, I guess that makes us happy...(Just kidding, Jenn)
The first contest is based on losing weight based on how much you have to lose. We figure a percentage of pounds lost to pounds needed to lose to reach your ideal. Many of us won't reach our ideal weight by December, naturally. That is irrelevant.
The second contest is based on making small changes in your life that will help the big changes to come. (Gee, somewhere I read that by the small and simple things, great things are accomplished.) You set three goals. You get a point per day per goal met, up to three points. I have set (for now) 3 goals in problem areas for me: 7.5 hours sleep, 2 liters H2O and 1 hour of exercise. Many of your goals are similar, and of course, we probably won't meet all three everyday.
You can enter either contest or both, it is up to you. Some were apologetic for not setting goals--unnecessary. This is up to you.
A new aspect has just entered in. Our corporate sponsor was dissatisfied with the percentage of weight lost aspect. We now have a third category that all weight loss people are entered into automatically. The person who loses the most weight gets $100.00 regardless of percentage. This is not taken out of the regular contest fees.
Last but not least, Kerry is setting up our web page/blog. I will post stats there. If anyone has encouraging or informative tidbits, they can post them also. So, has anyone been contacted by Cosmo or GQ yet? (Or is GQ for African American Men only??? I know so little about men's magazines.) I am sure it is just a matter of time.
MSG
All Righty Then
September 7
Here it is folks! Let the lard begin to flow!!
I will send you all an update tomorrow. In the meantime, here is a note from Jeanne:
If anyone is interested... My friend Bette Sue & daughter Ali who was on the biggest looser said what helped them the most was that they wore a "Body Bug" which is a band that goes around your arm that measures how many calories you burn each day. It works with the internet, you put in how much you eat each day then you down load the Body Bugand it calculates it all for you....How much in....how much burned.....never lies!!! This giveyou a chance to see how much you burn in a day and how many calories you really need. Anyhow....I can purchase these from her at a discounted rate if anyone is interested.
See ya around, but maybe not, if you stand sideways...
MSG
Here it is folks! Let the lard begin to flow!!
I will send you all an update tomorrow. In the meantime, here is a note from Jeanne:
If anyone is interested... My friend Bette Sue & daughter Ali who was on the biggest looser said what helped them the most was that they wore a "Body Bug" which is a band that goes around your arm that measures how many calories you burn each day. It works with the internet, you put in how much you eat each day then you down load the Body Bugand it calculates it all for you....How much in....how much burned.....never lies!!! This giveyou a chance to see how much you burn in a day and how many calories you really need. Anyhow....I can purchase these from her at a discounted rate if anyone is interested.
See ya around, but maybe not, if you stand sideways...
MSG
This Is It!
September 6
Ok, those of you who might be undecided, here is the information that you will need to join up. (I don't want anyone saying that they weren't informed...So far we have for sure: MSG, Nella, Margaret, Julie, Jeremy, Jennifer, Nelma. Maybes are Melissa and Tyler.
OK, Health Enthusiasts, REV YOUR ENGINES! (Or should I say metabolisms?)
Do you have your journals? Are they hidden away so that you can never be blackmailed later on when you are entering the Mr. or Ms.Universe Contest?
If you are in the LardOff contest, tomorrow please email me how much weight you need to lose to be your ideal weight. After that every week let me know how much weight you have lost. If you are on a plan, like Weight Watchers, your weigh in day will be different than Sunday but please send me the data on Sunday anyway. If you want to send me your initial weight, you are welcome to but it is not required. Naturally, I would never divulge said information even when tempted with hot fudge sundaes.
If you are participating in the points contest, send me your goals and start tracking on Sunday. Send me your first update the following Sunday. (You count points from Sunday 12:00 AM-Saturday 11:59 PM .) If your goals are too personal, let me know.
Both contests for the price of one. How lucky can you get? I will post information every Sunday to keep us all informed. Hey, I might even set up a website!
Send a check for 25 next paydayish. Make the check payable to me. I have an empty savings account--we should even get 45 cents interest to add to the earnings..Such riches!
Mary S. Greer
PO Box 174
St. Johns, AZ 85936
Love and Luck,
MSG
PS No, Jeremy. We shouldn't have before and after pictures taken in our speedos. The world is not ready for that much beauty yet. Besides, my camera doesn't have that wide of a wide angle lens.
PPS Hey, we're all going to be so gorgeous that Oprah is going to invite us to her show and we will get hate mail from all the voluptuous (and studly) wanna'bes. I can live with that!
Ok, those of you who might be undecided, here is the information that you will need to join up. (I don't want anyone saying that they weren't informed...So far we have for sure: MSG, Nella, Margaret, Julie, Jeremy, Jennifer, Nelma. Maybes are Melissa and Tyler.
OK, Health Enthusiasts, REV YOUR ENGINES! (Or should I say metabolisms?)
Do you have your journals? Are they hidden away so that you can never be blackmailed later on when you are entering the Mr. or Ms.Universe Contest?
If you are in the LardOff contest, tomorrow please email me how much weight you need to lose to be your ideal weight. After that every week let me know how much weight you have lost. If you are on a plan, like Weight Watchers, your weigh in day will be different than Sunday but please send me the data on Sunday anyway. If you want to send me your initial weight, you are welcome to but it is not required. Naturally, I would never divulge said information even when tempted with hot fudge sundaes.
If you are participating in the points contest, send me your goals and start tracking on Sunday. Send me your first update the following Sunday. (You count points from Sunday 12:00 AM-Saturday 11:59 PM .) If your goals are too personal, let me know.
Both contests for the price of one. How lucky can you get? I will post information every Sunday to keep us all informed. Hey, I might even set up a website!
Send a check for 25 next paydayish. Make the check payable to me. I have an empty savings account--we should even get 45 cents interest to add to the earnings..Such riches!
Mary S. Greer
PO Box 174
St. Johns, AZ 85936
Love and Luck,
MSG
PS No, Jeremy. We shouldn't have before and after pictures taken in our speedos. The world is not ready for that much beauty yet. Besides, my camera doesn't have that wide of a wide angle lens.
PPS Hey, we're all going to be so gorgeous that Oprah is going to invite us to her show and we will get hate mail from all the voluptuous (and studly) wanna'bes. I can live with that!
Lipid Liberation
September 4
For those who have already declined the invitation, this isn't a nag, this is just an update. The official get healthy dealie (Or as Jeremy put it, "Lard Off") begins this Sunday, September 7.
There are two categories. You may enter either or both. To enter:
1) Send me your intent by Monday, September 8.
2) Send a check for $25 to MSG by September 15.
3) Keep an account log/journal. (See Below.)
4) The contests run from September 7-December 15.
WEIGHT LOSS
You must be at least 15 pounds overweight to enter this contest.
1) Record your weight as of September 7. Record what you feel your ideal weight should be. Write these in your log.
2) Weigh in once a week and email me your results.
3) The winner for the money purse will be the person who loses the highest percentage of the weight that they need to lose. (If I need to lose 80 pounds and I lose 8, I have lost 10%. If you need to lose 20 pounds and you lose 5, that is 25% and you beat me.)
HEALTHY LIVING
1) Think of three things that you could change that would help you become a healthier person. They can be simple or major, but they need to be sincere, things that you really need that you are already doing. Record them with the date in your journal. (Examples could be 30 minutes of exercise a day, 8 hours of sleep, cutting out sugar, stress reduction class or activities, becoming more social--anything that is measurable and that would genuinely help you.)
2) These goals can change from week to week. You might want to change them as some no longer become necessary or there are things that would be more beneficial. The goals need to be the same for the week, though. You can't change them day to day. (I know I am going swimming today. I think I will make it a goal to exercise for today. This would not be productive or HONORABLE.)
3) Record your goals every week. You may earn a point for each goal each day. You could earn a maximum of 3 goals a day.
4) Send your point total to me every week.
PRIZE MONEY
Lastly$$$$. The money will be split two ways unless there is a tie. We may have a corporate sponsor who will kick in a few extra pesos, too. Some people have expressed concern about dishonor amongst us. So be it, Jedi. I personally TRUST all of my brothers to be honorable men...
To a healthier us--
Moi
PS Progress will be posted weekly.
For those who have already declined the invitation, this isn't a nag, this is just an update. The official get healthy dealie (Or as Jeremy put it, "Lard Off") begins this Sunday, September 7.
There are two categories. You may enter either or both. To enter:
1) Send me your intent by Monday, September 8.
2) Send a check for $25 to MSG by September 15.
3) Keep an account log/journal. (See Below.)
4) The contests run from September 7-December 15.
WEIGHT LOSS
You must be at least 15 pounds overweight to enter this contest.
1) Record your weight as of September 7. Record what you feel your ideal weight should be. Write these in your log.
2) Weigh in once a week and email me your results.
3) The winner for the money purse will be the person who loses the highest percentage of the weight that they need to lose. (If I need to lose 80 pounds and I lose 8, I have lost 10%. If you need to lose 20 pounds and you lose 5, that is 25% and you beat me.)
HEALTHY LIVING
1) Think of three things that you could change that would help you become a healthier person. They can be simple or major, but they need to be sincere, things that you really need that you are already doing. Record them with the date in your journal. (Examples could be 30 minutes of exercise a day, 8 hours of sleep, cutting out sugar, stress reduction class or activities, becoming more social--anything that is measurable and that would genuinely help you.)
2) These goals can change from week to week. You might want to change them as some no longer become necessary or there are things that would be more beneficial. The goals need to be the same for the week, though. You can't change them day to day. (I know I am going swimming today. I think I will make it a goal to exercise for today. This would not be productive or HONORABLE.)
3) Record your goals every week. You may earn a point for each goal each day. You could earn a maximum of 3 goals a day.
4) Send your point total to me every week.
PRIZE MONEY
Lastly$$$$. The money will be split two ways unless there is a tie. We may have a corporate sponsor who will kick in a few extra pesos, too. Some people have expressed concern about dishonor amongst us. So be it, Jedi. I personally TRUST all of my brothers to be honorable men...
To a healthier us--
Moi
PS Progress will be posted weekly.
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